A colleague - I'll call him Steve - has just told me the best story:
He went out last night and met someone and went back to this guy's place. After doing the deed, the guy let his dog - a little fluffy thing - into the bedroom. Early this morning, Steve suddenly awoke from a terrible dream that this guy was strangling him while wearing black leather gloves.
When Steve woke up, he found he was covered in blood. There was blood all down his arm and on his chest. This guy's dog had come into heat and had bled all over Steve. He screamed, giving the dog such a fright that she shat. On Steve's leg.