Wednesday, December 05, 2001

I have written before about the sexually graphic classifieds ads in gay magazines such as QX. The ads in The Pink Paper, on the other hand, are another thing entirely:
Men seeking men

Midlands/Anglia. 71-year-old gent, seeks older friends for meetings/holidays. Stocky/chubby a bonus.

Cuddle doctor, 33, 5'9", moustache, occasional goatee, seeks active, tall, hairy, beefy, NSm guy, possibly gentle giant/bear, for cuddles. Wakefield. [I can't help wondering what an 'occasional goatee' is. Something like an occasional chair, perhaps?]

Caring, trustworthy, schoolmaster type, London, nice physique, retired, youthful. Seeks boyfriend/nephew type, 21-33. Safe fun. Inexperienced welcome.

Black female to male transsexual, 41, interests: boot sales, bargain hunting, etc. Seeks female 30-45 for long-term relationship. [You do know this is the 'men seeking men' category?]

Guy, 41, seeks strict, dominant, attractive guy, 6', 32-38, medium build, SL/SA, to treat him like a pupil, across the knee, spanking, 1-2-1 relationship.

Lazy, work-shy bus driver, 31, unfit, likes eating, being driven about on day trips. Prissy queens need not apply.

Semi-retired passive, submissive guy, seeks active partner to use and abuse me. Pennines/anywhere.

Mixed connections:

Black/white couple 20s. seek black sperm donor, no co-parenting option. Yorkshire.

Healthy older donor, Nottinghamshire. Attractive, talented, English. Will help anyone regardless of nationality/disability. [I am convinced this is just some enterprising straight bloke.]

Missing relationship with children? Want to be aunt/uncle/grandparent to delightful bright boy (8) and girl (2) in Stoke Newington?

Graduate in his prime, 42, seeks woman/couple with Scandinavian blood to make baby. Financially stable and self-employed. Looking for serious involvement. [Non-Aryans need not apply?]

Donor/potential part-time dad wanted by friendly, creative, sussed and self-aware lesbian. Must be disability-friendly.

Women seeking women

Natural, tall, attractive GF, 49, NSm, caring, creative, polymath, GSOH. Likes arts, computers, philosophy, sci-fi, (DU enjoy 7 of 9?). London.

Socially inept emotional cripple, 40-ish. White van driver. Enjoys weekends at Pontins. WLTM Brooklyn babe, 40-ish, for coffee, possibly cake. No time-wasters.

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