doubled diva

Yes, while Mike is sheltering in a rain-lashed Portakabin in the industrial north east, I've stepped in to try to fill his shoes. [Well, just rip him off, basically.]

The 19 Days To 38 Project

Yes, in nineteen days - on the 28th of April - I will be 38 years old. Nineteen is half of thirty-eight, which got me to wondering what I was doing nineteen years - half my life - ago. Exactly half my life ago - in 1983, ten days before my nineteenth birthday - I had my first ever sexual encounter.

Nineteen years of sex Just think about that. Lord knows I am. I couldn't sleep last night for thinking about it. The questions I couldn't get out of my head were, "how many times?" and "with how many men?"

No wonder I couldn't sleep. Define "sex". Does there have to be penetration? What about oral? President Clinton famously denied having sexual relations with that woman. Personally, If I had covered someone's clothing in seminal fluid, I'd say I'd had sex with them. [Though if they were wearing a blue dress at the time, I'd deny it strongly!] What about groups? What about just having a wank with someone? Do they have to touch each other at all? Do both people have to ejaculate? Or either of them?

I've managed to decide on something that I'm satisfied counts as sex. Now, let me see....

1983: Not much happening. I knew what I wanted but didn't know how or where to get it.
1984 - 1986: Found out where to get it, and got some.
1987 - 1989 Moved to a bigger town and got a lot.
1990 - 1994 Was in a largely monogamous relationship, so got a lot, but with very few partners.
1995 - 2000 My wild years, my London years, my depraved, desperate, hedonistic years. I got the lot.
2001 - 2002 Monogamous relationship. Got a helluva lot, but just with M.

So that's... um... nineteen minus seven times fifty, carry the two, divide by this, add that, do this, do that, which gives us...

...a conservative estimate of ... Yikes! That's a lot of dry-cleaning!