Please do not evict Helen from Big Brother tonight. Our lives would be so much poorer without these gems [to be read aloud in a high-pitched Welsh accent]:

"Do I look chubby? I'm worried if I'm nominated as I'll have lots of pictures taken of me. I just won't eat anything on Friday".

"I think I'm the only Welsh person in here"

On her G.C.S.E's: "God! How come you lot have got loads and I have only got 2"

"I probably sound Welsh on the telly"

"I love blinking, I do!"

"Is the jelly cooked?"

"Yeah, you know Jack Daniels... he does all the magic stuff!"

"What does insanity MEAN???"

Brian: "What if she's (Helen) got an IQ of 25?"
    Helen: "Actually, I'm only 23"

Stuart: "What's Deans greatest fear?"
    Bubble: "Going insane"
    Helen: "No it isn't, its insanity he's scared of"

"I've heard that when men's willies are erect they are all the same size"

"I don't like telling clients (her hairdressing customers) that I teach dancing because they might think I'm being big headed".

Josh: "I've had 4 wet dreams... I wake up in the morning covered."
    Helen: "Covered in what?"

"What's in kidney beans?"

"How much chicken is there in chickpeas?"