Big Brother 3 hasn't gripped me yet. Oh, but I'm sure it will. On first impressions, Spencer is very cute but will be evicted cus he's too introverted. Alison is great fun, and wouldn't it be cool to have a large black woman winning? Cool, but unlikely perhaps. Jonny is trying far too hard to be liked. Ketchup-phobic Jade needs to go. Now.

But hey, unlike some of our more seasoned commentators, at least I know it wasn't happening in, excuse me, east London.