Woke up this morning. [Three times. The last one being at 10:35. Oops.]

Throwing some clothes on while simulataneously gulping down a mug of coffee [not easy, I tell you] I caught a bit of This Morning on ITV. The people behind the make-over slot had come up with a gem of an idea - take a girl called Julie who lives in Staines and turn her into a real-life Me Julie, by giving her a bling-bling make-over.

"So," said the-couple-who-aren't-Richard-and-Judy, "what exactly is this 'bling bling'?"

"Ooh," said the aging, perma-tanned fashion queen, "how would I know?" [He had a point.]

Sadly, I didn't get to see how the poor girl turned out, but the best moment came when the old queen demonstrated what bling-bling was all about, by trying on some huge Versace sunvisors and a stetson. "Oh, very Noel Coward!"