Busting for a pee, I just went to the loo at work. The MD was at one of the urninals, so I popped into a cubicle instead. [It's never a good idea to make your MD feel inferior about the size of his penis!]

There was someone in the next cubicle having an extremely loud crap. Very odd technique - he'd alternately unroll some toilet paper then let out an explosive fart. It was like rattle, rattle, rattle, pfffrrrrrrrrtt!! rattle, rattle, rattle, ppppFFFFFFRRRRRttT!!

The whole thing was so off-putting, I couldn't pee, so I flushed and exited. The MD was still hanging around, perhaps to see who was responsible for all the strange noises. As I came out, he looked at me in a strange way, as if to say, "I'm going to remember your face - there's something wrong with you, my boy," and then left. I wanted to run after him, shouting, "It wasn't me, it wasn't, honest!"