The announcements I heard on my journey from Swis* Cottage to Whitechapel and back:

"Due to a security alert, Kings Cross station is closed. This train will be non-stopping at Kings Cross."
"Service is suspended on the Central Line between Liverpool Street and Marble Arch."
"Due to a fire alarm, Moorgate station is closed. Northern Line trains will not stop there."
"This station is closed. Please evacuate this station now."
"I have just been informed that this train is now a District Line train. Next station is now Tower Hill."
"Tottenham Court Road station is closed."

What the hell is going on out there?