Jonathan was on a Channel 4 programme called "Future Sex" last night. As predicted, it was a faintly embarrassing affair, trying to stir up a bit of excitement about something deeply dull - clothes. Over-analyse the most normal of everyday activities and it will seem odd. I imagine a show about blogging, in which luminaries of the personal publishing world talk in great depth, drooling about their linkslists and blogrolls.

Apparently, wearing an England shirt - something millions of straight blokes around the country do every day - is a fetish when it's done by a gay man. "It's the new leather," said someone, perhaps Jonathan. "Ooh, just feel that material," said somone else, perhaps the Sports and Shorts organiser, whose name appeared to be David OverCamp. The idea behind footie gear is presumably that it makes you feel more manly. But the wearers shown were not sportsmen, just IT managers. Some of the footage shot at Sports And Shorts put me in mind of suburban swingers parties - the whiff of giddy excitement of girls together, sweat-stained armpits in manmade fibres.

Jonathan's appearance on the show did him no favours. I can only imagine the strange looks his colleagues will be giving him this morning. Now, I've known Jonathan for quite a while and I'm sorry to disappoint the programme-makers, but I can reliably inform you that he doesn't run round sniffing bits of rayon, going "Ooh yeah, feel that material, baby!" Quite why he agreed to be on the show in the first place is beyond me - or would have been, had I not seen how many other TV programmes he has been on over the years. Yes, he does have a fetish: he's a shameless media whore. Not a pervert.