The President of Turkmenistan has announced that he is going to officially rename the months of the year after the country's heroes, starting - naturally - with January, named - naturally - after himself. Like most despots, the delightfully-bouffanted Mr Niyazov is a bit of a mummy's boy, and will name April after his mother.

This is just yet another example of Niyazov's megalomania. Turkmenistan may be an impoverished state set amid thousands of square miles of desert, but this hasn't stopped him building a lavish, palatial and largely useless city, Ashgabat, with gold-domed marble mosques and fountains everywhere. The city is dominated by a huge gold statue of Niyazov. A giant revolving gilt statue of yourself - now that's what you call a classy dictator.