Excellent night out last night to celebrate David and Jason's birthday. Started off at Ben Crouch's Tavern, a horror-themed pub on Wells Street, just off Oxford Street. The place is wonderfully fake - all Gothycke arches and bubbling cauldrons and ectoplasmic lighting. David and Jason are boyfriends who share the same birthday. That's so weird it should be illegal. I was quite pleased with the card I made them which on the outside read...
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY
DAVID
JASON

...and on the inside had a picture of David Jason. "Ha ha, look, Jason," shouted David, "another David Jason joke. Every year we get one." I told Jason it was a pity his name wasn't James, as the card would have been much prettier with a pic of David James. "Actually," replied Jason, "David's last boyfriend was called James, and they had pictures of him in the toilet."

David and Jason told us this wonderful story about a goth club they had inadvertently found themselves in a few years ago in Amsterdam. They'd ingested some mushrooms which made everything even more surrreal. The place was dark and creepy with damp, leaking ceilings and rattling chains. The two of them plucked up the courage to lean against a wall near the dance floor. Suddenly, these bright UV lights came on and all the goths in the place wheeled round and stared at them, pointing at them, shouting things that only the undead could understand. Turned out David had leaned against a light switch!