Have you seen that advertising promo that plays repeatedly on MTV UK or The Box? Some young Scots girl, aged about twelve, a precocious vamp with stage school smiles and knowing winks, making love to the camera while singing a dreadful pop choon? She then goes on to witter on about doing her schoolwork and fancying some boy.

She is really, really creepy. Who is she? I want to put out a contract on her life.