An open letter to my colleague: Look, I don't know why you can't seem to order tickets for Robbie Williams at the Royal Albert Hall. Yes, I may use the web a lot, but I didn't design Robbie's site. No, I don't know if you're supposed to click on 'Buy' or 'Royal Albert Hall' or 'Inner Sanctum'. No, I don't know why it won't accept your credit card number. No, I don't know why it keeps saying you've requested too many seats. No, I don't know if you should try ordering just one. I don't know - or care - if you should try the more expensive seats. I have no idea why you keep getting a 'not found' error. Sort it out yourself - you are a 42-year-old man, after all.

[After a quick visit to the site - Robbie is not really going to record a big-band album called 'Swing When You're Winning', is he?]