Friday: Marcus made dinner for me and Janne: tagliatelle gorgonzola. Alcohol input: one bottle of white wine. Followed by Popstarz, where we met up with Dave. Lost Janne. Lost Dave. Alcohol input: many, many cans of Red Stripe. Taxi home with a very wobbly Marcus. Alcohol output: many, many cans of Red Stripe. And tagliatelle.

Saturday: Gave Marcus his present. Took him for lunch at Strada in Clapham. Went to Sainsbury's to buy booze for the party. Alcohol bought: four litres of vodka, six litres of white wine, forty bottles of Grolsch. Party, drink, chat, drink, Pop Idol [go William!], drink, party, drink, Will Young wins Pop Idol, celebrate, drink, worry that Gareth Gates may be the eventual winner really, drink, debate going to the Hoist, drink, dance, drink, pass out. Alcohol input: much of the afore-mentioned vodka and Grolsch.

Sunday: The Royal Vauxhall Tavern. Alcohol input: Two bottles of Grolsch and a vodka before we left [hey, we had to use up some of the left-overs]. Five? six? cans of Stella. A couple of bottles of water - not for health reasons. Two pints at Duke's, where a stripper thrust his penis into my face. Home.