To Duke's on Saturday night. Well, it was cheap. And we didn't know it was karaoke night. Marcus and I sat at the bar, pretending we were Pop Idol judges. "That has always been one of my favourite songs. Not anymore."

Our own Pop Idols that night were:

The Guy Who Sang Maniac. Yes, the song from Flashdance, which nobody has heard since 1985. We chatted to him afterwards, doing our best Nicky Chapman: "Very good performance." "Yes, I know," he said, "I sing that one at every karaoke night." "Since 1984?"

Liza Minnelli With A Shaved Head And Crop Top And About The Same Age. Yes, a skinny bloke old enough to know better, belting out Cabaret and New York, New York and My Way. Complete with high leg kicks. Yes, it is fabulous!

A Bored Kylie Minogue. Plump chap singing I Can't Get You Out Of My Head like he really couldn't be bothered. No inflection, no tune. Na na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na na.