I've just spent half an hour trying to track down various Nokia ringtones. No, not because I want to make my phone like rilly kewl and annoy everyone on the train, but because one of the rounds in last night's Retro Bar pop quiz consisted of ringtones. Although I did manage to find all the tunes they played last night, none of them sounds like a ringtone. Savvy folk these ringtone merchants - instead of unrecognisable tinny chirruping beeps, their samples are fairly decent piano tunes.

1. Anyway, these were the five tunes played last night. Name them: [a], [b], [c], [d], [e].

2. There were six songs in the new releases round.
[a] The first featured a woman rapping about having her boyfriend in the shower.
[b] The second was a rap-metal thing whose video spoofs films such as Ghostbusters.
[c] The third was a fuzzy garage rock thing which continued the insect theme set by the second band
[d] Next we had to name the artist and song from a brief two-second intro and squeal. I can tell you it was Britney Spears, but what is her latest single called?
[e] And what is the name of the new swinging summery single by S Club 7?
[f] Finally, what's the new one by Mis-Teeq called?

4. Two cover versions - name the artist doing the cover.
[a] An 'Art Of Noise'-ish version of James Brown's Sex Machine, with a bored robotik woman on spoken vocals.
[b] A current hit which 'incorporates elements' of Monsoon's Ever So Lonely. Name the cover band and the year in which the original was a hit.

5. Yet another Can't Get You Out Of My Head bootleg. This one was mixed with a track off an album called 604, by a tres hip band featuring a Bulgarian vocalist. Name the band.

6. Next were four electronica acts; two modern and two 80s. The songs were called [a] Hand To Phone; [b] TV OD, [c] Sensoria and - er - [d] something else.

7. Pink's Get The Party Started. Give the eight words that follow the lyric: "Sendin' out the message to all of my friends"

8. Spot the connection between:
[a] Let's Have A Quiet Night In - Cleo Laine
[b] Reasons - Minnie Ripperton
[c] The Ballad Of John And Yoko - The Beatles

9. [a] A member of a famous family had a hit called Let's Get Serious. Name him.
[b] Joe Jackson claimed it was different for ....?
[c] Which rock band had a hit called All Night Long?

10. Finally, give the year in which all three parts of number 9 were released.

And, no, we didn't win. Our score of 14 out of 21 was hardly a threat to The Skanky Whores' tally of nineteen-and-a-half. How would you have fared?