I mentioned a wine society earlier. There's something I haven't been telling you: yes, I am a bit of a closet Jilly Goulden.

Back in South Africa, I studied wine for a couple of years. I joined Wits University WineSoc as a bit of a joke - for the free booze - but I became fascinated with the subject. After the basic course, I took the Certificate course, then Diploma 1 (graduating summa cum laude!) and was half way through Dip 2 when I left the country. The next step would have been a Master of Wine, which would have been my gateway to a fantastic job - my ideal job would be the person who travels the world, selecting the wines for supermarket chains. Instead, I browse supermarket shelves selecting wines.

I also discovered I had - for want of a better word - a good nose.

In 1993, I entered the Zonnebloem National Winetaster Of The Year contest. The initial round was open to the general public in ten cities around the country. We were given eight wines, and had to identify the cultivar and the year. The top twenty entrants in each city made the next round, which took the form of a posh do at a five-star hotel. This time I was one of the top two Johannesburg entrants, and my boyfriend and I were flown down to Cape Town for a weekend in a top hotel and the grand final.

The winetasting final was nerve-wracking. We were given ten wines, and again had to identify the cultivar and year. This was made slightly more difficult by the fact that one of the finalists, a woman named Lorna, was wearing huge amounts of an overpowering perfume - a cunning strategy as you shall see.

After the tasting, we all had to wait outside while they marked our papers. Then: "Would Carina, Bill and David please come back in?" The three of us had to taste another three wines, and then had to wait outside again. "Would just Carina and David please come back in?" The two of us had to go through the whole process for a third time.

At lunch, the other finalists decided it was a foregone conclusion that I had won. People were congratulating me and although I wouldn't allow myself to believe it, secretly I was already planning how I would enjoy the prize. The big awards ceremony was held in the banqueting hall that night. I was extremely nervous, as everyone kept secretly nodding at me and surreptitiously raising their glasses in congratulation.

The results were announced: "In fourth place, David."

Yes, the taste-off had been for fourth place. The winner was Lorna, the woman with the over-powering perfume. She won a six-week holiday in Brazil and Peru with ten-thousand rand spending money. I won a couple of cases of wine.

That weekend, my name was on page three of the Sunday Times. Almost. The article ended: "And in fourth place was Johannesburg graphic designer, David Dim."