Thank you to the person who sent me the following SMS message on New Year's Day:

And me and my man had the most drug FUCKED fisting session on record which ended an hour ago. Now off to work.

Fascinating I'm sure, but I haven't the faintest idea who you are, as is proved by the second message you sent me just a minute later:

Sorry, last message was a mistake

I suppose I could always try calling your number, and seeing if I recognise your voice. But I'm not sure I want to know who you are!