Tuesday, January 08, 2002

While I'm on the subject of nerdy London Underground facts, have you noticed the mysterious abbreviations above the doors of tube carriages? You haven't? Just me then? Well, take a look next time you're on the tube - there, just above the doors, a series of letters: TCCOS or Com COS or something equally unintelligible. For years now, I've been trying to figure out what they stand for and now, thanks to the internet, I have found out. For instance, TCCOS stands for Traction Control Cut-Out Switch. Whatever that is.

OK, so I now know what the letters stand for, but I'm none the wiser as to what they actually mean. Something, perhaps, a little like this:
CICCoupler Isolating Cock: I picture a drunk couple coming home from after-work drinks. "Go on," she says, fumbling with his flies, "no-one's looking, get yer cock out!"
Con GControl Governor: A strict, prim middle-aged lady in buttoned-up grey tweed coat and shiny black boots, umbrella on her lap, lips compressed.
Com: G ICCompressor Governor Isolating Cock: "Young man! Your penis is sticking out." "Madam, you flatter yourself - it is hanging out!"
TLICTrain Line Isolating Cock: "I said put your pennies on the line!"
WWICWindow Wiper Isolating Cock: Ow!
PWRPassenger Warning Relay: "Apologies for the delay; there's some fool with a baton on the line."
SAPBSpring Applied Parking Brake: As opposed to the autumn applied parking brake, more commonly known as "the wrong kind of leaves".

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