Get me to a dentist! Last night, while struggling manfully with a fossilised bit of pork crackling, the sliver of remaining molar around my root canal collapsed. It has exposed a jagged lump of metal where my tooth once was. Of course, I can't help exploring these new sharp edges, so I've got an abraded tongue, too.

Trouble is, I'm on a training course tomorrow and Friday, so unless I find an emergency dentist today or Saturday, it'll only be fixed after the weekend. I don't think it would be a good idea to go out clubbing with this jagged nugget in my mouth - I'd have no tongue left.