Our friend Karl is having a Moulin Rouge party later this month. Guests have to come dressed as a character from the film. I'm having a costume crisis - I haven't the faintest idea what I'm going to wear.

The look Marcus and I could most easily achieve is that of the pale, thin, bohemian musicians - white face, black suit, little glasses.

We could perhaps go as two of the Four Whores - Nini-Legs-In-The-Air and Mome Fromage, but who would be who?

But these are all minor characters - I want to be a star, darling. I quite fancy going as the Duke - wispy moustache, false teeth, obseqious, insincere fawning. Yes, I think I could carry him off. But Marcus, much as you'd love to, I don't think you'd make a convincing Absinthe Fairy.

Any suggestions?