I stayed in on Saturday, curled up on the sofa with a bottle of Sancerre. Look, if you're going to drink on your own, it has to be something good, to prove that you're not just drinking for the sake of the alcohol. Anyway, three-quarters the way through the bottle, I had a brainwave, and furiously started making notes.

Come the cold light of day, I wish I remember what the brainwave was. Lord knows the notes are no help:

Park toilet, hedge on three sides: Fox On The Run
Glorious summer, long green tunnels: Puppy Love
SA, red fields: Beg, Steal Or Borrow
Dog bite: You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet
Mum, Dad: ???
Teenager: Dancing Queen
Andrew's arm: Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep
Pano's ear: Sakkie Sakkie
Railway station: abortion
Summer in London: Supergrass Alright