Kirsty MacColl wrote a song about me. Admittedly, at the time she didn't know it was about me, but it was, it really was.

You see, as I've said before, I grew up in South Africa. I'd never felt I belonged there, and knew that one day I'd have to come back to England, to see if this was home. I didn't have many friends there, just the Wine Society people. Leaving was something I felt I had to do. I wasn't at peace with myself, I somehow always felt sad. I was stuck in a rut, I had to do something new.

I made up my mind to move very, very quickly. I broke up with my boyfriend, booked a flight and was gone. I arrived in the glorious summer of 1995 - sunshine everywhere, new people, a new frame of mind, a new more confident, sexual, me. I was going to start afresh, become someone else. I sent delirious postcards back to my ex and the Wine Society folk: "It's brilliant here!"

But I knew there was something a little desperate about my need for change, my need to be someone else. I was soon quite literally stuck in a rut. I knew, at the back of my mind, that I was heading for a fall.

And then one day I bought Galore by Kirsty MacColl. Track four stopped me dead in my tracks:

He's On The Beach (MacColl, Povey)
He was just a friend of mine
I'd run into from time to time
Long before he moved away
We used to share a taste for wine
Still I never knew that he was sad back then
He said the time had come for him to take a holiday

And he says it's brilliant there
There's something in the air
And sunshine everywhere
He's on the beach
I know he's changed somehow
He sends those postcards now
I'm not sure where he is
But he's out of reach

When he called me up one day
And said that he was going away
I thought he meant a week in France
And not twelve thousand miles to Sydney Bay
Still he had to take his chances
He said the time had come for him to make a move away

And he says it's brilliant there
There's something in the air
And sunshine everywhere
He's on the beach
I know he's changed somehow
He writes those postcards now
He's on his own again
And he's out of reach
(my baby gets it on the beach)

And I don't blame him
Leaving was the best thing he could do
He longed for changes
I just hope he's happy
When he does the things he thinks he has to do
And he tries, and he tries
Yes he tries but he's a little bit hard on himself
Somehow he's trying to be someone else

And he says, he says, he says it's brilliant there
There's something in the air
And sunshine everywhere
He's on the beach
I know he's changed somehow
It's in his postcards now
He's on his own again
So far out of reach
And he says it's brilliant there.