It's important to know what type of friend you are. In my imagination, I'm the strong, supportive type, always ready to lend an ear, and a shoulder to cry on. In practice though, I'm really the type of friend who can be relied on to supply bits of useless trivia, bizarre links and song lyrics. Hence e-mails like this:

David,
I need to find the lyrics to One Night In Bangkok - don't ask. Need your help.
Jacq

One minute later, of course, winging their way across cyberspace were Tim Rice's finest lyrics, including my favourite rhyme of all time:

Tea, girls, warm and sweet,
Some are set up in the Somerset Maugham Suite.

And another thing: why is it that I always come out as a cruel, heartless bastard in all of these online personality tests? In thespark's personality test, I was the Iceman; in their Match test I was the Judge; and in the Office Flirt test currently doing the rounds I was the Owl (wise, reserved).

Someone recently described me as the Wizard of Oz - the quiet little man behind the curtain, controlling things. But I'm presumin' that I could be kinda human, if I only had a heart.