Drunk people and mobile phones, parts one and two [the names have been changed to protect the inebriated, but you know who you are]. The first story is an email from a friend describing a call he received last night from a drunken friend:

Cheers Xxxxx for the numerous drunk calls from Ealing tube station. David, you have to know this: he thought he had lost his mobile phone and was searching the carriage while talking to me on it! I have to say, the penny never dropped with me either, but I was in bed asleep when he rang, in my defence.

The recipient of that phone call received yet another drunken call from yet another drunken friend - this one on holiday in Spain. During the call, he was treated to the sound of vomiting, followed by the spectacular sound effects of our mate falling into a bush. "Ooh, it's gone all green," was the last thing said, though I'm not sure if that was a reference to the shrubbery or the puke.