I have only voted once in my life. It was the 26th of April 1994, South Africa's first democratic elections. A week of turbulence, turmoil, terror, excitement, hope, frustration, fear, wonder... We queued outside the polling station for four hours - which was nothing compared to some stations, where the lines were several kilometres long, meaning voters had to sleep nearby, returning to vote the following day. Now that's what you call an election.

I'm not voting in this week's UK elections. I live in an ultra-safe Labour constituency - Glenda Jackson's Hampstead and Highgate. Apathy Rules O.