"There will be an interval of 20 minutes between ACT ONE and ACT ONE.
There will be no interval between ACT ONE and ACT ONE."

Programme notes for Noises Off, for which we got free tickets [and eventually - after the interval between Act One and Act One - seats] courtesy of the gorgeous Mario. The disastrous play-within-a-play reminded me of a school performance of "The Ghost Train", in which I starred as Richard Winthrop way back when in my last year of school.

Everything that could go wrong, did. As I made my dramatic entrance, the doorknob came off in my hand. I shoved it into my suit pocket, quite forgetting that another character needed to make an equally dramatic exit. Not quite so dramatic when he burst into gales of laughter and had to sidle off nonchalantly around the curtain.

The play comes to an exciting climax as the identities of the two masked men are revealed. In the original version, as the mask is whipped off the first man, Charles Murdock cries, "Why it's Price!". Moments later, as the mask is removed from the second man, Winthrop cries, "Why, it's Saul!"

In our version, however, my friend Ian got it wrong, and as Price's mask is removed, he cried "Why it's Saul!". Thinking on my feet, when Saul's mask was actually removed, I cried, "Why, Murdock, you're right, it is Saul!"

Cue five minutes of riotous, uncontrolled laughter from audience and cast alike, plus a further ten minutes of false starts collapsing into hysterics, and a sudden curtain call.