Mental notes made in the company lift:

to the two girls who stopped the lift on the first floor, got out at the ground floor, then waited for another lift to the basement: Walk, you lazy cows!

to the two guys who had obviously shared a lunchtime joint in an enclosed space: You stink! And you're talking rubbish!

to the guy on the fourth floor who drank too much beer at the Vauxhall Tavern yesterday: Don't fart in the lift! Sorry!