The three very drunk Glaswegian girls who decided to tackle me and Marcus downstairs at Mantos last night got more than they bargained for:

"Shoo us some of yer fancy London dancin'," one of them ordered Marcus. He performed a brilliant parody of Straight-Student-Wot-Can't-Dance, stepping clunkily from side to side, "It's all the rage down here."

"Ooh, yer a stoater," she slurred at Marcus, "yez can cop off with me - a hole is a hole, eh?"
"Oi you," I warned her, "you leave his hole alone!"