The supplement to this month's Men's Health magazine virtually screamed at me from the shelves of the newsagents'. I certainly am a skinny man. "I know what," I thought to myself, "I'll buy the magazine, and make a commitment to following the exercise regime. I'll report back on my progress every day on my blog." I figured I could be a sort of Bridget Jones of the exercise world: push-ups: 24 (v.g.), sit-ups: 12 (v.v. bad), biceps: 7 inches (oh dear).

I got the mag home, ripped it open, and - well - I'm afraid it's not going to work. Note to the editor of Men's Health - look, the reason that we're skinny is that we've never seen the inside of a gym. I don't happen to have a bench press at home. Or one of those pulley things. Or a Swiss ball, whatever one of those is. Dumbbell!

What was that you said? "Join a gym??" I don't think so!