Colemanballs. OK, they're juvenile, but these sporting quotes made me laugh (thanks, Gabs).

"This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria....I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing." (Pat Glenn - Weightlifting commentator)

"He's pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!" (Soccer commentator George Hamilton on Spain manager Luis Suarez's substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier with Ireland in Seville,1992)

"The black players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and flair, but you also need white players in there to balance things up and give the team some brains and some common sense." (Crystal Palace chairman Ron Noades, speaking in 1991)

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father" (Greg Norman)

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious" (Alan Minter)

"The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball" (John Francombe)

"He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces." (Ron Atkinson)

"Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew." (Harry Carpenter - BBC TV Boat Race 1977)

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field." (Metro Radio)

" .... and later we will have action from the men's cockless pairs..." (Sue Barker)

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." (David Acfield)

"There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class" (David Coleman at The Montreal Olympics)